It's been a dark and twisty week for me. It happens when, every day, I have to do something that eats at who I am; that consists of everything I loathe; that I ran from, swearing to never return for the good of my own sanity. And then I remember, "this too shall pass".
This four word phrase, learned from my momma, has been the savior in all things I have been through. I remember her saying it.. a lot. I recall teenage heartache, or girlie fights, or trivial poor exam results, and she would say "this too shall pass". And wedding planning panic, and child birth pain, and late night worries of a baby's cough.. and I would hear, if only in my head, "this too shall pass". Even in financial stress... "this too shall pass".
I remember many days that consisted of thinking I wasn't going to get up off the floor, and being reminded "this too shall pass"; through shattered pieces, fear, and tears, tomorrow is a new day. No matter what, the sun is still climbing in tomorrow's sky, and will move the hands of time regardless of what we put in it's path. Time will pass.
As I sat at dinner tonight with my mom, I started to hear it, but I heard it differently. This talk about my need for independence and in it defiance; security blankets; apron strings, and bricks in walls... "This too shall pass". This leash that holds me back from what is right in front of me... "this too shall pass".
I almost wonder if she heard it too, not so differently, in the little bit she lets go, just enough to let me fly, and how she hurts to see me want to go... "this too shall pass".
With every struggle comes relief of it all - when the time passes, and our wisdom grows. A time where scars cover open wounds, because nothing can remain broken forever...even a fragile heart. That too, has passed.
No comments:
Post a Comment