It's been an interesting week, filled with laughter, challenge, tears, a lot of letting go, and a couple people who helped with the letting go. To those people, thank you for the laughter that shut out the emptied places. To that person this week that reminded me I was beautiful. To that little man that laid asleep in my arms and reminded me of newness, and the bigger little man, who stands almost as tall as me now, clinging to a hug that I didn't want to let go of - reminding me not all love can end, nor does it have to. To the man in the window with no blinds, backing his wife into a corner, cowering her in such ugly anger for reminding me what love doesn't look like. To the friend who just let me get the devilish side of me out without judgement, supplying me with just enough information. To the one who throws me to the wolves, you make me stronger to spite you. To the one who has no idea what they want - I do, know that without question and hear it. To the one who is hurting and uses anger to fill the empty places - I wish you peace and the truth - not the one you think you know, but the real truth. And through of all this - to my heart, I wish you gentle healing, patience, and time.
Experiencing things and letting myself feel all of it is a very new part of moving forward for me. I don't block out the tears, I laugh every second I can. I don't shut out possibilities, but I do remember the better person I want to be every day, and take pride in the right decisions, no matter how much I didn't want to make them. Life without emotional boundaries is like standing in that place on Earth, in the middle of a storm, where the sun breaks through the clouds, and it can be pouring rain, but when that sunbeam hits, you can't help but feel the warmth. And when that rainbow bursts through... well, many people search for the end of the rainbow, but I hope I never find it.
(a borrowed picture from one of many reminders this week, and they'll probably never even know it.
Grateful none the less. )
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